Human Centipede Bypasses Ruggles Turnstile
In an act as horrifying as it was disgusting, a human centipede was spotted today paying only one fare for all 57 of its members…
Sewer Vent Issued Warning on Smoking by OSCCR
A sewer vent near Ell Hall was recently issued a warning by OSCCR for violating Northeastern’s no-smoking policy. Asked for comment, the vent told the…
Northeastern to Redirect Stetson East and West Water Supply to New AI Makerspace
In a move lauded as “paradigm shifting” by AI enthusiasts on campus, President Aoun has ordered facilities staff to redirect Stetson East and Stetson West’s…
LAST ONE TO TAKE THEIR HANDS OFF THE JOB APPLICATION GETS A CO-OP
Following last week's shocking revelation that President Aoun intends to abandon his role at the university to become a Youtuber, he has now announced a…
Northeastern Announces Plan to Demolish Matthews Arena Again
Amid federal funding uncertainty and rising operating costs, Northeastern has been forced to face some very difficult financial decisions in the past few years. Perhaps…
Northeastern Declares Co-ops “Too Easy to Get,” Announces Plans to Limit Students to 3 Applications Per Co-op Cycle.
In today’s positively thriving job market, many students have found themselves simply dumbfounded by the ease with which they can get a high-earning co-op related…
Northeastern Addresses “The Situation”
Northeastern administration has finally released a statement about the recent incident that occurred near campus. “The situation is now under control. The place where it…
Aoun Advocates for AI Use in Shocking Continuation of Existing Policy
In a bold, shocking, absolutely unprecedented, unexpected, and startling new move, President Aoun suggested that, “It’s time to…[envision] a curriculum for the AI age” in…
NUin Students Voted Easiest Scapegoat for 19th Year in a Row
NUin students have consistently been the easiest scapegoats for all campus problems, and our TrustyPolling shows that this year has seen record levels of hatred…
BREAKING: 5 Northeastern Students Injured After Assuming ‘Severe Lizard Warning’ Was A Typo
LIVE UPDATE: NUPD FORCED INTO RETREAT BY SEVERE LIZARD, NATIONAL GUARD TO TAKE OVER OPERATIONS. BREAKING: A Severe Lizard has already injured 5 Northeastern students…