Northeastern Addresses “The Situation”
Northeastern administration has finally released a statement about the recent incident that occurred near campus. “The situation is now under control. The place where it…
Aoun Advocates for AI Use in Shocking Continuation of Existing Policy
In a bold, shocking, absolutely unprecedented, unexpected, and startling new move, President Aoun suggested that, “It’s time to…[envision] a curriculum for the AI age” in…
NUin Students Voted Easiest Scapegoat for 19th Year in a Row
NUin students have consistently been the easiest scapegoats for all campus problems, and our TrustyPolling shows that this year has seen record levels of hatred…
BREAKING: 5 Northeastern Students Injured After Assuming ‘Severe Lizard Warning’ Was A Typo
LIVE UPDATE: NUPD FORCED INTO RETREAT BY SEVERE LIZARD, NATIONAL GUARD TO TAKE OVER OPERATIONS. BREAKING: A Severe Lizard has already injured 5 Northeastern students…
Dance Clubs Descend Into War Over Limited Practice Space
Amidst nearly nine inches of snow on the Northeastern campus today, the wind is not the only thing throwing snow at high speed into the…
Devastated Northeastern Student Receives Brutal Rejection on Valentine’s Day
Local Northeastern student May Den-Leth came crying to Trusky Husky reporters earlier today following an absolutely savage rejection. “I was genuinely looking forward to staying…
Steast to be Ritually Slaughtered to Address Wi-Fi Speed Complaints
Amid a recent avalanche of complaints about Northeastern’s Wi-Fi speed, Northeastern IT has decided to sacrifice Stetson East Dining Hall to NUWave to increase its…
Northeastern Announces New “Forced Single” Housing Option
In the face of the current housing shortage at Northeastern that has forced countless students to the faraway lands of Oakland and London, school administrators…
Guy Day Trading Crypto in Class has Lost More Money than You Will Ever Make
Local 3rd year finance major Monet Richman has lost more money on cryptocurrency than you will ever make. After “investing” over $2.7 million of his…
Aoun’s Evil Doppelganger Escapes Containment
Northeastern’s best efforts to keep School President Creature 096 (SPC-096) locked away in the depths of the new box outside of Snell Engineering have failed.…