In the face of the current housing shortage at Northeastern that has forced countless students to the faraway lands of Oakland and London, school administrators have come up with a genius new housing option: The Forced Single. This new and innovative solution allows students to sleep in spare bathrooms and closets around campus. Students accepted under this program will be provided with a university branded sleeping bag and will also be required to be on the 500 meal a month dining plan. Students selected for the forced single option can expect to save at least $20 a month on rent compared to their peers in other housing options, and are even allowed to keep the sleeping bag at the end of their lease.
A spokesperson for Housing and Residential Life told the Trusty Husky how, “people loved the forced doubles and forced triples so much that the forced single was really just a no-brainer. We expect this new housing option will allow us to squeeze in at least another 3,000 students on campus next semester. Sleeping in school closets and bathrooms really brings new meaning to ‘on-campus’ housing.” School administrators expect that the new housing option will bring in enough profit to cover the construction costs of ISEC 3.
Student responses to the forced single have been overwhelmingly negative, with some students characterizing the option as “humiliating” and “actually disgusting.” Hostility towards NUin students for “taking up valuable housing” has also risen dramatically, as students unfortunate enough to get the forced single option blame NUin students for their impact on the housing shortage.
At press time, top university administrators were researching how to create a “forced nothing” housing option that could fit a theoretically infinite number of students in the East Village supply closet.
Efrain Ortiz contributed reporting for this article.
