Lately, pro-communist posters from the “Revolutionary Communists of America” have been seen around campus pasted to streetlights, trash cans, and on those things that are supposed to stop cars from driving on the sidewalk. It has been impossible to walk across campus without seeing fiery red posters proclaiming “capitalism bad” while offering membership in what we cannot legally call a cult. For a while there, it really did look like communism was inevitable, that the Marxist revolution would happen at any moment, and that pretty soon, famine conditions would strike Steast. Fortunately, one heroic anonymous student, now known around campus only as “The Scribbler” has struck back, ending communism forever.
Under the cover of night, The Scribbler, armed with their trusty black sharpie, crossed out the communism and wrote insulting messages where collectivist ideology once stood. Thanks to The Scribbler’s heroic efforts, the local chapter of the communist group responsible for the posters has disbanded. Reportedly, former members of the organization have finally gotten jobs and many have even started posting about their “morning grind” on LinkedIn.
Local ex-communist Fam-Inh Redd told the Trusty Husky, “I was fully ready to lay down my life for the revolution, but when I saw the phrase “shut up” written on our poster with a little drawing of a penis next to it, I realized that evolution, not revolution is the answer. After all, revolution is impossible as long as The Scribbler, a figure more powerful than the bourgeoisie itself, is against us.”
While many students applaud The Scribbler’s apparent efforts to defend the status quo from the scourge of Marxist ideology, others expressed concern for the state of campus discourse. Local centrist Meadie Ann told the Trusty Husky, “Why are all the loudest people always those with the most extreme opinions? Why don’t we see more posters proudly proclaiming, ‘Things are mostly fine the way they are’? Our campus has a wide diversity of opinion, and I know we can do better than fighting scribble wars on posters pasted to garbage cans.”
Joseph Stalling, the leader of what was once the local chapter of the RCA, told the Trusty Husky that he, “didn’t hear no bell” and that the communists on campus will inevitably regroup and continue their revolutionary activities. He proudly declared that future plans include arguing with progressives on Twitter and trying to understand dialectical materialism.
Sniffing sharpie fumes during our exclusive interview, The Scribbler told the Trusty Husky that, “I’m actually not even that opposed to communist-ism or whatever, I just thought the posters were ugly.”
