Northeastern has been forced to take drastic measures following the continuous and unending failure of the Wi-Fi network that is NUwave. Today marks the start of Northeastern’s newest campus addition: OLDwave. Every classroom and on-campus dorm will now come equipped with a telegraph and wired connection equipped for speeds of up to 30 words per minute.
President Aoun was glowing in his review of the new additions, stating in a telegram that,
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Some students were ecstatic about the new developments. Local sophomore Daughton Dasher told the Trusty Husky, “While OLDwave might not be compatible with the modern internet, at least I can actually rely on it to get my messages to where they need to go… eventually.”
Other students remained unimpressed. “Whilst this so-called ‘OLDwave’ may be passably hastier than ‘NUwave’, one must remain cognizant of the elementary truth that the prestigious carrier pigeon is and always will be superior to these feeble constructs of man,” Local pretentious 6th year student Topp Hatt told the Trusty Husky.
At press time, frustrated students had given up and decided to just connect to eduroam instead.
