Aoun’s Evil Doppelganger Escapes Containment
Northeastern’s best efforts to keep School President Creature 096 (SPC-096) locked away in the depths of the new box outside of Snell Engineering have failed.…
Tag: President Aoun
Northeastern Captures BU President, BU to Become Satellite Campus
BOSTON, United States (Trusty Husky) — In an early morning press conference, our glorious leader Joseph Aoun announced the successful capture of BU President Melissa…
Northeastern Announces Dining Hall Security Reforms to Stop Utensil Thefts
Due to a worsening campus-wide spoon shortage, starting Monday dining halls will be equipped with metal detectors and exit bouncers who will do a full…
Op-ed: We Need to Triple Aoun’s Salary
It’s recently come to my attention that our glorious president, Joseph Aoun (blessed be his name) has fallen all the way down to the 27th…
Op-ed: President Aoun’s Monk-like Existence Should Inspire Us All
Given how busy everyday life can be for us college students, it can be easy to forget the importance of the simple pleasures of life.…
Sun Never Sets on Northeastern Empire
It’s a well known fact that Northeastern University expands to a new location every day, establishing satellite campuses faster than the real life British Empire…