Northeastern Announces OLDwave, Telegraph Service to Begin “Soon”
Northeastern has been forced to take drastic measures following the continuous and unending failure of the Wi-Fi network that is NUwave. Today marks the start…
Tag: Northeastern
Op-ed: An Ardent Defense of the Krentzman Quad Loofahs
There’s something wrong on campus this year. Have you noticed it? Perhaps it’s the fear of an incoming economic disaster on a scale unseen since…
Contraceptive Vending Machine Moved to the Middle of Ruggles
In an effort to make contraceptives even more accessible to the student body, the Office of Prevention and Education at Northeastern (OPEN) has made the…
Trustiest Husky: Our Commitment to Not Using AI
Sure! Here’s a sample article that your student organization could use, emphasizing a commitment to not using AI. Today, we live in a time filled…
Northeastern Announces Dining Hall Security Reforms to Stop Utensil Thefts
Due to a worsening campus-wide spoon shortage, starting Monday dining halls will be equipped with metal detectors and exit bouncers who will do a full…
MBTA to Deploy Mythical Three-Headed Dog Cerberus to Eat Fare Evaders
Recent financial constraints on the MBTA have forced drastic measures to ensure that the transportation organization operates with minimal financial losses. In a startling but…
Want a Job in the Military Industrial Complex? Moralists HATE This ONE Simple Trick!
The recent post-grad job market has been rather difficult for many, pushing many engineering students to work at the place they all secretly knew they…
Khoury Students Fight to the Death Over Last Remaining CS Co-op
As the computer science market continues to remain extremely competitive, Khoury students have been pushed to new extremes to secure their co-ops. In a dramatic…
Duo Security Releases Plan to Add Five Additional Layers of Verification
Online security is more important than ever, and Northeastern heroically protects our noble students through online authentication apps like Duo Security. Fortunately, Duo Security has…
Op-ed: We Need to Triple Aoun’s Salary
It’s recently come to my attention that our glorious president, Joseph Aoun (blessed be his name) has fallen all the way down to the 27th…