Trustiest Husky: Our Commitment to Not Using AI
Sure! Here’s a sample article that your student organization could use, emphasizing a commitment to not using AI. Today, we live in a time filled…
Category: Campus Happenings
Northeastern Announces Dining Hall Security Reforms to Stop Utensil Thefts
Due to a worsening campus-wide spoon shortage, starting Monday dining halls will be equipped with metal detectors and exit bouncers who will do a full…
Want a Job in the Military Industrial Complex? Moralists HATE This ONE Simple Trick!
The recent post-grad job market has been rather difficult for many, pushing many engineering students to work at the place they all secretly knew they…
Khoury Students Fight to the Death Over Last Remaining CS Co-op
As the computer science market continues to remain extremely competitive, Khoury students have been pushed to new extremes to secure their co-ops. In a dramatic…
Class of ’26 Senior Events Catalogue Accidentally Features Activities Meant for Nursing Home
In a complete mix-up, the events catalogue intended for the Northeastern graduating class of '26 was accidentally replaced by a catalogue intended for a nursing…
Wollaston’s Heroically Raises Prices to Save Shoppers From Themselves
In a bold act of humanitarianism, local luxury grocery emporium Wollaston’s Market has announced it will be raising its prices "dramatically and unapologetically" in an…
Student Inadvertently Completes Marathon While Searching for Open Outlet at Snell Library
In an impressive athletic achievement, average joe Joseph Median walked an entire 26.2 miles while searching for a space with an outlet in Snell Library…
Northeastern Rated 253rd out of 257 Schools for Free Speech
Recently it has come to our attention that Northeastern has been rated 253rd out of 257 schools in the US for free speech, receiving an…
Satan to Institute New 10th Circle of Hell for People Who Ride Electric Scooters on the Sidewalk
In a recent press release, the Prince of Darkness proclaimed,"In all of my time witnessing the scope of potential malevolent acts, nothing has mystified me…
Northeastern to Partner with McDonalds, Announces McCo-ops
In the face of more difficult employment prospects and increasingly competitive co-ops, Northeastern University has announced a most ingenious remedy to the situation. Many students…