Aoun’s Evil Doppelganger Escapes Containment
Northeastern’s best efforts to keep School President Creature 096 (SPC-096) locked away in the depths of the new box outside of Snell Engineering have failed.…
Category: Campus Happenings
Heartbreaking: Guy Whose Hair Looked Good Got Really Bad Haircut Over Thanksgiving
A number of reports are coming in from a variety of classes that local student Bob Cutter has come back from Thanksgiving break with far…
Student Scribbles Out Poster, Communists in Shambles
Lately, pro-communist posters from the “Revolutionary Communists of America” have been seen around campus pasted to streetlights, trash cans, and on those things that are…
Northeastern Announces OLDwave, Telegraph Service to Begin “Soon”
Northeastern has been forced to take drastic measures following the continuous and unending failure of the Wi-Fi network that is NUwave. Today marks the start…
Contraceptive Vending Machine Moved to the Middle of Ruggles
In an effort to make contraceptives even more accessible to the student body, the Office of Prevention and Education at Northeastern (OPEN) has made the…
Trustiest Husky: Our Commitment to Not Using AI
Sure! Here’s a sample article that your student organization could use, emphasizing a commitment to not using AI. Today, we live in a time filled…
Northeastern Announces Dining Hall Security Reforms to Stop Utensil Thefts
Due to a worsening campus-wide spoon shortage, starting Monday dining halls will be equipped with metal detectors and exit bouncers who will do a full…
Want a Job in the Military Industrial Complex? Moralists HATE This ONE Simple Trick!
The recent post-grad job market has been rather difficult for many, pushing many engineering students to work at the place they all secretly knew they…
Khoury Students Fight to the Death Over Last Remaining CS Co-op
As the computer science market continues to remain extremely competitive, Khoury students have been pushed to new extremes to secure their co-ops. In a dramatic…
Class of ’26 Senior Events Catalogue Accidentally Features Activities Meant for Nursing Home
In a complete mix-up, the events catalogue intended for the Northeastern graduating class of '26 was accidentally replaced by a catalogue intended for a nursing…